Thursday, July 15, 2004

Voulez-vous Coucher Avec Moi, Ce Soir?

That's French for "Would you sleep with me tonight?".

Have been watching Sex and the City (SATC) with G. I've to admit, the very 1st episode we caught (about threesomes) actually left us feeling too prudish and conservative for the show. Now, 3 and a half seasons later, I'd gladly recommend the show to everyone, be they single/married/divorced/horny/asexual.

Call me Charlotte the prude, but every episode leaves me amazed at how sexually liberated the Americans are. When was the last time I had an engaging conversation about sex and dildos?? But beyond the blatant sex talk and multiple sex partners, the show poignantly portrays the ups and downs, ins and outs (pardon the imagery) of dating, relationships, and the clichéd F word - friendship.

The character that intrigues me the most? Miranda, the unattractive and career-driven redhead who is often angry yet desparate for a man, cynical about life and relationships and yet hopeful and yearning, fiercely independent yet emotionally vulnerable.

But this isn't a TV review.

A friend I met recently bemoaned how being attached is not only the default but also the ideal state that most S'porean men are or desire to be in. According to him, S'porean men are pathetic in our need and fulfilment in couplehood, or in his words "for someone to reply to their sms-es late in the night". Within one hour over lunch, my 23yo single & eligible friend had imparted way too much information about his sex life, opinions and taste for women, and a roving eye that was quick to critique anything in a skirt that was vaguely attractive.

FYI I'm not particularly worried about him reading this. His reaction "Not another f*****g blog!" to the URL I sent him tells me that he won't be visiting this page any time soon.

In typical SATC fashion, his comment got me wondering.

*cue Carrie Bradshaw narrating*

"Are we all wired to need that special someone to make us feel loved and appreciated at the end of the day? Is singlehood really a less desirable and even laughable state to be in? When do swinglehood and wanton sex romps start losing their appeal, and eventually become overtaken by the urge to settle down with the one and have kids - 2 or more if you can afford it?"


Notwithstanding my personal resume with only one relationship to boot and my brief 25 years of life experience, I have a strong, personal belief in monogamy, i.e. lifelong, faithful commitment to a single partner even while dating.

A while ago, I was chatting with another friend online when he suddenly asked me how I had gotten together with G. Apparently he needed to review his wooing tactics towards achieving success that has eluded many a male. Suffice to say, I was pretty amused and a tad flattered that someone was actually asking me for love advice? Am I there already??

Honestly speaking, I'm not. Another friend - a self-proclaimed relationship guru - recently related over email the sobering relationship experiences of his guy friends. While I'm glad that nobody has broken my heart yet, I realize how emotionally (and sexually) inexperienced I am. This is not to say that I have gained little from my present relationship. But there is really so much in the gamut of love and lust many of us will not get to experience.

So I cannot yet answer whether singlehood/swinglehood/couplehood is the answer. We all have to make our own.

1 comment:

Ivan said...

but yet, as the issues are raised, they are not addressed with as much insight as what brought them about. and very soon, you realise they are just scraping along the surface of this great big watermelon, yes, you can see the flesh of the fruit within, you know the flesh is there, you know it's juicy, but is it sweet? you don't. the show doesn't answer the questions it raises, and very soon, this routine of raising, and not answering, becomes quite tiresome...