"Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere"
Today I tendered an acceptance of a job offer. I would have thought that after sealing my fate for the near future, I would be happy and secure in my decision. Instead I am excited, apprehensive, and mostly unsettled.
Perhaps I've only just experienced what it means to be your own man.
Over the past week, I had been doing extra serious mulling as to how I would kick off my career. On one hand, I had been offered a secure tenure, complete with staff benefits, at a place that is familiar and heartwarming. On the other, I was seeking a 3-month internship at a place closer to my heart and aspirations.
Though a friend pointed out that both present many opportunities, coming to a decision hasn't been easy. While my decision is clear, my mind hasn't been and still isn't.
Hearing about the higher salaries of friends around hardly helped, such as an engineer's starting salary of $3K a month. While it's easy to say that money doesn't matter, I tell you it certainly does for one with bank loans hanging heavy over his head.
The most important question:
What do I want?
Until now I still cannot answer the last question. G assures me that few know exactly what they want. At least I know that I want to be successful in life - now exactly what that means is a blog for another time.
One thing for which I am satisfied and grateful to G for urging me is my initiative to pursue my interests in seeking an internship. Searching for and seeing doors open is infinitely affirming and also exciting because what lie behind these doors are dark and unknown. Thankfully behind this door was a big, friendly dog :)
The rightness of a decision is only clear on hindsight - sometimes. For now, at least I know that I've made a good decision.
As G further offers, "make it the right decision!"