Saturday, December 18, 2004

Saturday In & Out & In & Out...

Just attended a wedding service today. The couple's marriage has been long expected - after all, they'd been dating since '96 and survived the most arduous period when the groom spent 4 years studying abroad.

Even so, during the solemnization ceremony, I was genuinely moved by the sight of them holding each other's hands and also by the weight of their wedding vows.

I'm beginning to truly realize - beyond simply being informed - that marriage is a lifetime of commitment to one another and it takes deep love for a relationship to mature and mellow well over time.

I don't wonder when I will get married. But I wonder what it would entail - what would compel me to propose to someone to cross the line into this lifelong agreement.

Once while talking to a recently married friend, I made a reference to her husband as her boyfriend but she didn't realize my mistake till I corrected myself a minute later. Hmmm...

I wonder what it feels to be married.

I wonder if I'll ever find that someone.

Every time I watch Six Feet Under, it leaves me feeling thoughtful and temporarily sad.

It makes me wonder if the majority of humankind is perpetually meshed in a series of unhappy states.

The funny thing that I've realized about the show is that the binary notion of happy/sad doesn't exist - or for that matter, a spectrum of v. happy to v. sad. Man simply is.

When Claire audibly breaks into tears at her mother's 2nd wedding, it seems that she's overcome with joy. But as she begins to bawl, the viewer is left wondering if her emotional floodgates had simply been triggered.

Are you happy?

Eggshell skull: a fragile person who is incredibly affected by the pettiest and most trivial of events or circumstances.

I know of someone who is one.

He's petty and relatively poor. He's lonely and self-centered. He's emotionally needy yet socially outcast. This most unfortunate combination only leads to constant unhappiness.

I wish I could help him but being a true listener is so tiring.

Well, if you think I'm talking about you, then at least my blog's making an impression.

But I'm most probably not.

1 comment:

tshush said...

wished I was there too...