Monday, February 14, 2005
V Day: D Day or The Day
Twice last week people's questions about my plans for monday drew a blank look.
"Eh... what's happening on monday?"
That's right, I'm single... and proud of it.
Today, I snorted and flicked my nose to every sms of heartfelt Valentine's Day greetings.
"Nuttin 2 celebr8."
What's so special about V day anyway?
The hopeless romantics say it's a day to proclaim one's love through the extravagant shower of intense affection.
*cue television ad*
Flowers, diamond necklace, lingerie, chocolates, dinner at Top of the M: $$$$$++++
Electric moment when eyes lock: Priceless
For everything else, there's .
The utter pragmatists (usually male, sometimes balding) protest against the wanton commercialization where florists, chocolater makers, jewellers and restaurateurs alike benefit from the simple rule of Economics 101 - Supply & Demand.
Yes, women demand.
Coyly, of course. Some will even reject it outright, yet secretly yearn for that bouquet of roses.
Beware, for hell hath no fury like a woman's scorn.
What else can men do but to hope that a greater reward is waiting at the end of the evening - usually a misguided thought that leaves him high and dry.
Hence the expensive wine.
Oh, don't forget, the bigger the bouquet, the more intense the jealousy aroused in colleagues.
Make sure you get it up to her office first thing in the morning.
So size does matter. Period.
Received this in the mail today: Certified Penetration Testing Professional.
Turns out this adult-oriented title is actually a course on computer hacking. But I'm sure our ladies could do with some reprogramming.
On this very same day, the sad singletons hang out and christen it Friendship Day.
Yup, who better to mourn your failures in one relationship after another than fellow failures?
WHAT?! Never been kissed?? I feel better now.
Remember V the TV series? The one where reptilian aliens disguised as humans invade earth and try to take over the world. When confronted, they shed their human skins to reveal their hideous green selves beneath.
Kinda sounds like marriage.
Happy Valentine's Day. Enjoy it while it lasts.
Posted by This is Ed at 9:26 PM