Wednesday, June 29, 2005

In a Marriage, Obedience = Respect?

For Lunch: DSTA Tower - Vegetarian Food (Fried Beehoon with 4 Assorted Dishes and a dash of Chicken Curry) with Kopi-O-siew-tai (i.e. less sugar) --> Only $2.60 altogether, real value for $$

Yesterday's TODAY saw a contribution by Frances Ong, To Love is to Obey where she emphasized her marriage experience - she discovered that ceding to her husband's authority brought both order and mutual respect amongst the family.

Her enlightenment struck me and reminded me of this verse: "Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives." (1 Pet 3:1 NKJ)

It's a biblical advice that I couldn't make sense of, particularly in a society that strives for gender equality. After all, the modern family unit typically consists of 2 breadwinners who are of similar education and importantly, share responsibilities and bank accounts.

Among the interest and responses generated, my friend, Gaurav, replied this Gender Nothing to Do With Who is in the Right and argues that Ms Ong's take is a traditional one that suggests escapism. Instead he highlights the importance of gender equality and self-respect.

The debate on gender equality - been there, done that - will never cease simply because gender differences simply are. On top of that, no marriage is the same. Therefore the main point that I surmise is this: a marriage is a partnership that grows on an equilibrium maintained by the couple.

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