Friday, September 30, 2005

How Well You Know a Person

Met an ex-JC classmate in the course of the week. Almost didn't recognize her because of the make-up & hairstyle. Also, haven't seen her in years, since she never turned up at class gatherings. True to her sales profession, she was busy networking and greeting people.

When I related this to another ex-JC classmate, she wasn't surprised at all. Honestly I never knew her well enough to be able to judge, except tt there was something abt her tt caught my eye. Perhaps it was the Cedar Girls uniform :)

One thing I wondered about: does a person's work and environment shape his or her personality and values? Or does it bring out what was already inherent?

*finger on chin* Hmm...

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Ode to the Flu Bug

Waking in the middle of the night,
My throat parched & sore.
Oh how I thirst.
But swallowing, my face crinkles with discomfort.
A glass of water later,
I throw myself back in bed.

My morning alarm goes off.
Feeling woozy, I decide to take the day off.
Off to the doctor's, I go.
Half an hour,
I'm staring blankly into space.
One hour,
I'm staring angrily at the receptionist.
One hour & a half,
I'm looking at my receipt of $34.

Mmmm... Duck porridge, my childhood fav food.
Fantastic Four's on TV - starring Dare Devil,
ain't so fantastic to me anymore.
Head feels like a choked toilet pipe,
yellow discharge aflowing.

Three pills I pop,
on the bed I flop.
Awakened an hour later
by the screams of children running amok on the void deck.
I stay on the 10th floor, mind you.
Mom answers door,
greeted by salesman touting new-wonder-rubbish-chute-thingamajig.

My bum reluctantly leaves the bed,
stuff myself with a sandwich & milk.
Mom nags as usual,
too much heaty food right?

No, I protest,
it's my colleague's flu bug.
She changes tack,
how come resistance so low?
Thought you always go run?
Mind shuts out the rest...

Papers, papers, news, news...
Coffee & mee chiam kueh!
Mom nags,
heaty ah.

Flicking my laptop on,
children from school across
crooning malay children's day song.

To MSN, I go,
"Ed Battles Flu Bug with Tissue and Prayer"

Tuesday, September 27, 2005


It's ironic. One day I remark to my colleague tt I seldom fall sick because I take vitamins, the next day I awake with a sore throat & the sniffles. The same thing happened in my previous job about a year ago.

Partly another colleague's fault for bringing the flu bug upon us, also because I'd to stay up late to rush some work. Oh yes, me is breaking the civil servant mould.

Attended today a conference organized by BEA systems on the topic of SOA. A hodge-podge of bland presentations - the deputy CTO was reading off the slides. At least the food at Pan Pacific was good - esp. the mixed salad of what I think is Rocket, Alfalfa & some veggie tt was small but spicy. Mmmm...

Met a couple of cellgroup friends & one of their sisters for dinner. Had a nice chat, a most whacky sister my friend has. While hitching a lift back, was most amused when friend's sister suggested having Jamie Cullum take on "I Get a Kick Out of You" as the bridal walk-in song (she's getting married soon) & started grooving & snapping in lindy hop fashion.

Saturday, September 24, 2005

Another Bugbear

Failed my IPPT this morning coz of SBJ. Scored well for everything except that. For the life of me, I can't jump. At least I've got another try next weekend.

For the non-NS initiated, failing IPPT means a month of remedial trainings - simply because I missed a few centimetres.

This morning I was anxious & hopeful, now I am all of disappointed, frustrated & angry.

Part of me wants to blame God for making me feel like a failure, yet I know tt I only have myself to blame, for not preparing well in advance despite knowing my weak station.

I'm fucking fucked, tt's what.

Friday, September 23, 2005

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Who Wants Love?

Sung by Billie Holiday
Written by Gus Kahn / Franz Waxman

Who wants love?
Love is a joy we borrow
Pay back in tears tomorrow
So who wants love?

Who wants love?
Something to fill your heart with
So very soon to part with
So who wants love?

Love is a dream of weaving
Moonbeams in patterns rare
Love is a child believing
Stories of castles in the air
So who wants love
I'll go away without it
I know too much about it
Who wants love


Once I was with G sitting at 1 of the eateries inside her club. An indian girl had just bought herself a big cup of ice-milo and was returning to her seat with the drink on a tray. On the way, she dropped the drink near us.

I can still remember the snapshot of spilled milo rapidly spreading over the floor in front of a stunned girl - her pang of disappointment beginning to sink in.

"Oh no, so sad," I turned to G & blurted.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005


More than 10 years on and some things haven't changed at home.


Am I carrying an unnecessary burden? I tell myself it's all about attitude.


Angry thoughts rage in my head.

But who am I to point & judge?

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Binging on a Quiet Mid-Autumn's Night

Was a bit down today, but surprisingly, felt much better after a 24min easy run. Sometimes I wish I could just run away... I truly believe that one should not allow inner emotions to determine his state of mind, but it's easier said than done. Perhaps am feeling down because I had to spend some time this weekend on work stuff.

A quiet mid-autumn fest I had this year. No big bang celebrations like the last few years. At least I had my fill of mooncakes. Visited grandparents last night though, at least my teochew's a little bit better now. Was nice just to see them anyway.

Crave north indian food, esp. masala tea. Speaking of food, read 2 articles about food today. One in the Sunday Times talks about how processed food is so pervasive in our everyday lives that it's quite impossible to avoid eating anything that's processed. While I've passed from my asparagus phase to a tomato one - the latter needs little or no cooking, my latest discovery is using chappati as wraps. You can easily get it from NTUC & it takes only 15seconds to zap.

The other article from NYTimes talks about different perspectives on man's insatiable hunger, from anthropological studies to how the human body efficiently absorbs nutrients from food to hunger disease studies done by Jewish doctors living in the Warsaw ghetto.

True enough, sometimes I find my mind severely distracted by greedy thoughts of food. Sure, in Singapore, we really love eating; in Bangkok/Pattaya, Gaurav was amused by the numerous pics I took of food. I find myself getting prosperous from eating. Food, food, food, we just can't live without it.

Saturday, September 17, 2005

Be With Me (2005)

Caught Eric Khoo's Be With Me a few days ago. A wonderfully human show that captures man's profound longing for companionship among a whole gamut of emotions that we can all certainly identify with. Towards the end, was reminded of a friend's anguish & grief at losing a close family member.

The film also showcases the life of an exceptional person - Theresa Chan who, in spite of her impairments, is able to live life as independently and as fully as she can. I find her life story incredibly inspiring, especially when you see her carrying out everyday chores and you realize what we take for granted. One thing that struck me from her autobiography, "I cannot see the beautiful things in life but neither can I see the ugly and sad things."

...a tapestry of three stories woven around the themes of love, hope and destiny. Although the main characters come from different backgrounds and lead different lives, they all long to be with their loved one.

Meant To Be is about an ageing provision shopkeeper grappling with loneliness. Just when he is about to give up hope, he chances upon an autobiography which changes his life.

Finding Love follows the mundane life of a middle aged security guard who has two loves in life -- food and a high flying professional who works in the same building he does. The first he indulges in with great passion, the second, alas, he can only admire from afar. He decides to bridge the divide with a letter.

So In Love is the bitter-sweet chronicles of a teenage love less ordinary. A chain of events spark off a flurry of SMS's which will drastically rewrite the blueprints of their lives.

Unknown to them, these different souls will share the same stage in a play written by Fate, one which involves the themes of love, tragedy and redemption. The characters in the movie are ficititious except for Theresa Chan. Deaf and blind since she was 14, Theresa -- who is now 61 -- is a remarkable woman who has triumphed over her disabilities to live an amazing life. She will be the film's beacon, a symbol of strength and hope.

Friday, September 16, 2005

Me Inspector?

Anne sent me another 1 of those personality tests today - this 1's the HUMANMETRICS Jung Typology Test. Partly to humour her & partly curious, I did it in a couple of minutes & turns out I am an Inspector Guardian (iStJ) or Introverted Sensing Thinking Judging - keyword's "superdependable". People who know me & agree say "aye".

Don't know how accurate this is, because the results are very much dependent on a person's frame of mind. The last time I did it during JC, I was deemed to be a Introverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving.

One thing's for sure, I've come a long way from the person I used to be. A secondary school friend I met recently reminded me that I used to wear this pink colour Giordano jacket. My retort - I was ahead of my time, now pink is in. The real reason? It was my mom's & I couldn't afford a new one & the alternative was a dirty brown, ah pek one. Heh heh!

Monday, September 12, 2005

Rainy Days And Mondays


Talkin' to myself and feelin' old
Sometimes I'd like to quit
Nothing ever seems to fit
Hangin' around
Nothing to do but frown
Rainy Days and Mondays always get me down.

What I've got they used to call the blues
Nothin' is really wrong
Feelin' like I don't belong
Walkin' around
Some kind of lonely clown
Rainy Days and Mondays always get me down.

Funny but it seems I always wind up here with you
Nice to know somebody loves me
Funny but it seems that it's the only thing to do
Run and find the one who loves me.

What I feel has come and gone before
No need to talk it out
We know what it's all about
Hangin' around
Nothing to do but frown
Rainy Days and Mondays always get me down.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Look Ma, No Plaque

Just visited the dentist - for the 1st time in quite a while. As I was lying there, being attended to by the doctor and his assistant, it felt oddly surreal, like a scene out of a TV show.

First the prodding & general check-up and doc commented on the condition of my teeth and how tartar leads to plaque. This was followed by scaling - the screeching-high frequency of his mini drill bit meeting enamel while doc worked hard to free my teeth of plaque. Not only do you hear it, but you feel it too. And all the while, the assistant constantly peers from above to remove saliva.

Just as I thought he was about done, doc pointed out 2 molars which are showing initial signs of decay. I couldn't believe what I was hearing, because I dutifully brush & floss everyday. Perhaps it's time to invest in mouthwash. No biggie, he said (not in these words though), just need to patch it up with a protective layer to prevent further decay.

For the next 10minutes, instrument after instrument were put into my poor gaping mouth, including one that emits a curious blue light to harden the protective layer and a red plastic sheet to bite on.

After doc was done, I very much wanted him to explain every procedure he had put me through. But figured I'd might as well do my own research on the internet.

The first thing I did upon exiting his room was to admire my freshly cleaned teeth in the lobby mirror. Oh, teeth are definitely looking good and plaque free!

Now I can't stop tonguing the back of my lower teeth.

Sunday, September 04, 2005

Running Log 040905

Took part in the 2nd Mizuno Run 2005 & ran 10km.

Timing: 47m30s

Not bad for someone who hasn't been training seriously but not good enough. 1st 5km was comfortably fast (about 20min), but ran out of gas for the next 5km. Finishing slope going up Serangoon rd into Kovan Hub was a real killer.

Click for enlarged route map

Well, at least I broke in my new Mizuno shoes, Wave Atlantis. Haha! Left me a small blister on the arch & barely blistering toes of my left foot.

Thought I saw some familiar faces around at the run, probably guys I saw around during NS days. Once again, I reiterate the 1 benefit of NS - discovering the love of running.

Up next - Stanchart Half-marathon! Woohoo!

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Connect the Dots

Tried a new running route this evening:

Cut through Nanyang Poly, not many students about at this time
Passed by AMK Bus Depot
Through AMK Industrial Park 3, thankfully quiet & relatively car-less
Passed by ST Electronics & along Yio Chu Kang rd
Passed by NCS, commute would be so much shorter if I worked here
Turned left & ran with the MRT track & all the way back home

Time: 32min
Est. dist: 6km
Pace: comfortably moderate