Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Happiness

What's the difference between pursuing spiritual goals & material goals? Between godliness & wealth, while not diametric, what is worth pouring one's energy into?

For the love of life, do something that will bring you lasting happiness. We say this but won't you just live it??

Quit the lousy feeling and get the groove back on. If you've tried something and it didn't work out, just shrug it off and move on.

Like a retro techno-beats song that echos... "Got-ta move on... Got-ta move on... Got-ta move on..."

Others can see the unhappiness ON you already. So quit saying "I'm okay" when you're not okay.

Lesson learnt from yet another movie last night: Don't keep hanging your hang-up because for all you know, it's not justified at all and you could have thrown it out a long time ago.

Get over it! Move on! Cheer up!

Saturday, December 24, 2011

A Matter of the Heart

Our actions & words can betray what's in our hearts. But what's really brewing within? What thoughts are going through?

Maybe at the subconscious level, even we don't know ourselves. Maybe that's why we need an other to show us what we're really exhibiting.

A man without a vision will always return to his past, this has been echoing within, since I heard Dr Bernard's podcast message. Progress comes of a desire to get better coupled with a ruthless cutting off of poorer ways. Advancement should come of one's own agenda...what if I have no agenda?

What if I'm dissatisfied pushing another's agenda? The Son does what He sees the Father does. Sounds like the pattern in life.

In the next Timothy Keller message I heard, he spoke of sonship. A son is one who has access to the father--Keller used this great illustration of how while he might ignore his spouse waking him in the middle of the night to ask for water, he would definitely respond to his son's request for water.

The Father is not one who would give hard non-satisfying stones in place of sustenance-giving bread. Do I--do we--know that?

We speak of love. Beyond the lips, what is love really? Forgiving & tolerating any and all mistakes? Sayang-ing and providing emotional balm any time it's needed? Offering ready company and attention? Sounds more like infantcare/childcare.

The Father wants us to grow up, to grow strong, to grow closer... Have you, have I, have we grown this year?

Push to grow & keep growing, crucially, in the right direction and season.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

3 days to Christmas

Yesterday I heard another sermon podcast by Timothy Keller of Redeemer Church. The Prodigal God, it's called (get it a la iTunes).

We're all (errr, believers) familiar with the story of the prodigal son. As Ps. Keller points out, it's easy to spot yourself in the prodigal son "younger brother" syndrome. But there's an "older brother" syndrome that traps believers in a self-righteous mindset that's also unappreciative of the Father.

Instead of behaving like a son that the older brother's entitled to, he's behaving like a slave and resenting his spiritual "duty". Thing is, this older son's just as lost as the younger, Keller points out.

Earning our right before the Father, judging ourselves by the amount of prayer, good works and good attitude... The believer's walk should focus on the beauty of adoration. Maybe this is the struggle for those like me who grow up with a legalistic inclination.

Listening to Tomlin's Glory In The Highest, I ask myself, how do I glorify God? Browsing John Sung's biography, seems he interprets that as his life work of winning souls. That is important, but I don't think it's the end-all. Sung emphasizes that spiritual gifts are important but love is the greatest gift of all.

Love of God, love of men, reconciling differences--after all, we all stand before God as equal one day.

In stressful times, tempers flare, spiteful words erupt. But it would be naïve to dream of a lovey-dovey work environment.

Perhaps how we glorify God is simply how we live with love each day. Love, the commitment to doing our best. Love, the consideration for others. Love, keeping watch over loved ones in prayer. Love, asking what's on God's heart and He's placed in the hearts of shepherds He's appointed.

Our favourite Christmas ballad goes, Have yourself a merry little Christmas now. Make it merry & blessed, be happy and keep finding meaning in the everyday.

Friday, December 16, 2011

Rampart

Leaving office now at 4plus in the morning. It's less of having many things to do but rather feeling weighed down. Met Dan for lunch and talked about having the balance in our lives to pursue own interests. Choices, I said, it's up to us, really, to stay or to go.

Checked out a new "instrumental" CD which I usually avoid, because they're usually bland stuff. But this one's lush, genuinely moving orchestral motifs really got me. Reminded me of my friends too. Highlight of the day, I say.

Now, I'm reminded that I gotta be like Habbakuk to watch & listen.

Watch & listen. To without & to within.

Ssshhh.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Ramble

Thursday, December 08, 2011

Substance

Over the past 6 months, I've seen more about myself, corrected myself. Stretched, yeah, and then feeling sore, sometimes utterly spent and discouraged and contemplating a way out.

6 months in, I'm still here. Move on beyond Why, now it's What's Next? What Now?

Sermon after sermon, week after week, resolve after resolve... No, it's not about feeling emo. Dad gave my good advice almost a week ago, to the effect of "Rise above how you feel."

What have I done? is what I'm thinking right now. Logical but not rational, inspirational but not spiritual, radical but not...clear.

Discern, clarify, determine, decide and do.

Thrive

By Switchfoot

Been fighting things that I can't see in
Like voices coming from the inside of me and
Like doing things I find hard to believe in
Am I myself or am I dreaming?

I've been awake for an hour or so
Checking for a pulse but I just don't know
Am I a man when I feel like a ghost?
The stranger in the mirror is wearing my clothes

No I'm not alright
I know that I'm not right
A steering wheel don't mean you can drive
A warm body don't mean I'm alive
No I'm not alright
I know that I'm not right
Feels like I travel but I never arrive
I want to thrive not just survive

I come alive when I hear you singing
But lately I haven't been hearing a thing and
I get the feeling that I'm in between
A machine and a man who only looks like me

I try and hide it and not let it show
But deep down inside me I just don't know
Am I a man when I feel like a hoax?
The stranger in the mirror is wearing my clothes

No I'm not alright
I know that I'm not right
A steering wheel don't mean you can drive
A warm body don't mean I'm alive
No I'm not alright
I know that I'm not right
Feels like I travel but I never arrive
I want to thrive not just survive

I'm always close but I'm never enough
I'm always in line but I'm never in love
I get so down but I won't give up
I get slowed down but I won't give up

Been fighting things that I can't see in
Like voices coming from the inside of me and
Like doing things I find hard to believe in
Am I myself or am I dreaming?

No I'm not alright
I know that I'm not right
A steering wheel don't mean you can drive
A warm body don't mean I'm alive
No I'm not alright
I know that I'm not right
Feel like I travel but I never arrive
I want to thrive not just survive

I want to thrive not just survive