break my heart for what breaks yours

Moral of the story: A soldier braves landslides, rubble and fatigue to save souls and restore hope.

So have a heart.

spilling

A gift of patience, can it be? Though it seems the phone rings too much.

How to impact lives when an attitude to serve is not entirely there?

Friend seeker

This shows the full meaning of the Scripture that says: "Abraham believed God, and God accepted Abraham's faith, and that faith made him right with God." And Abraham was called God's friend. James 2:23 (NCV)

Watched Superhero Movie with D my old pal. As sillily slapstick it was, it speaks of how we all long for a secret power that makes us invincible while remaining human and true to ourselves.

In SOT, we're learning about the person of God... the Holy Spirit. More than a spooky presence, He's as real as you and me, and comes bearing an immeasurable love along with gifts and secrets. And it all begins with an invitation to begin a relationship.

And it's really a friendship of mutual listening. After all, what do friends do? What makes you feel loved when you meet a friend? When someone gives you time of day?

A couple of friends called me tonight and I realised all they really wanted was a listening ear. I don't feel like I've done much, yet one thanked me for my friendship. Such is the simple faith of a simple man. And it's simply wonderful!

I surmise that leadership is a call to lay down one's life for his friends. By being available, by bearing them on his shoulders and in prayer, by selflessly influencing them for the better...

And so we come full circle to the R-word - Relationship (the opposite of Rejection?)

How does one relate? How does one open one's heart? How does one become a friend?

Receive, rejoice and release, perhaps?

Anxiety, Be Gone

Ubin was great. Today felt like holiday. But am up again till late, busy with bookstore matters.

Racing hard, it feels a little lonely. More importantly, may I not lose focus of the things that truly matter.

Pressing

Passion is a daily endeavour, not a constant emotional high.

Monday saw conviction and bawling, Tuesday featured emcee-ing in front of 300 colleagues, Wed saw newly formed marketers, Thu was seeing human dynamics at work, Fri was wondering about the great something that was due to happen.

Three weeks into bible school and I must admit there're doubts about whether I'm in the right place. But if He spoke indirectly about it, can it still not be correct?

Work challenges remain, if not, have toughened. Perhaps I've been slack, issues long pending have yet to be resolved.

Gotta keep praying for peace, joy, order and freedom...

Manufactured Landscapes (2007)

By Edward Burtynsky

Growing

Friend's grandma suffers incontinence, friend's suffers poor sleep and emotional stress. Grandpa lost 3 more teeth - he's more than 90yo - family suffers temporary worry bout.

Growing old's such a terrible thing. I used to tell myself I don't want to live too long - until someone pointed out that meant dying in your prime. Hmph, life offers much more than worrying about the inevitable.

Truly, we never know what's gonna be hurled at us. But when things are going well for one, can one ignore the plight of others? As Luke reminds us "...for everyone to whom much is given, from him much will be required..."

En commute to work this afternoon, a 15yo beng sitting behind was going on loudly in chinese about his shi fu and his friend wasting his time. Crude mocking and playful wrestling inclusive.

I'm not ranting, really. Just wondering what brings one fulfillment and focus?

*ponder*

Burn You Like Roti Prata

Team name: Ham Chim Peng

Summary: 16 sporting, youthful ones went on round-island game of Monopoly. Sweaty, icky but fun :)

Tomorrow 8am PA duty... ARGH!

Excellence

n. (ks-lns)

quality - an essential and distinguishing attribute of something or someone; "the quality of mercy is not strained"--Shakespeare
admirability, admirableness, wonderfulness - admirable excellence
impressiveness, magnificence, grandness, richness - splendid or imposing in size or appearance; "the grandness of the architecture"; "impressed by the richness of the flora"
civilisation, civilization, refinement - the quality of excellence in thought and manners and taste; "a man of intellectual refinement"; "he is remembered for his generosity and civilization"
courtesy of tfd.com

Big day / Day 1 beckons tomorrow.

Admittedly, was gripped by apprehension before this. Take it easy, you will enjoy, J my leader assured me.

How am I gonna balance tests/assignments/lack-of-sleep/overcoming-fears/
challenges-at-work/ministry-commitment/spending-time-with-loved-ones...?

Spirit-centered, I say!

Watering

The generous soul will be made rich, And he who waters will also be watered himself.

(Proverbs 11:25)

Truly God will use you and your experiences to water others.

how small, how great

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
Philippians 4:9 (NIV)

What do you do when you're down and out?

When God seems to be putting you through the toughest time of your life, when your family's kicked you out because you refuse to join the fold to follow old ways, when you're hiding at the void deck because you want to avoid spot checks, when you're desparately trying to start anew but no employer seems to want you because of your previous drug conviction, when your wife left you for another man and still lies to you, when you're living off NTUC vouchers from social welfare, when you don't even have that 10cents to make a phone call...

How do you react when you meet a person going through this yet he's backboned enough not to ask for money or any other help? J tells me he's humbled this evening. Me too bro, me too.

Let's touch a life today with a listening ear, an assuring pat and heartfelt prayers.

Worry is meditation on the wrong things

Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.

Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies.
Philippians 4:6-9 (The Message)

The right time

There's an opportune time to do things, a right time for everything on the earth:

A right time for birth and another for death,
A right time to plant and another to reap,
A right time to kill and another to heal,
A right time to destroy and another to construct,
A right time to cry and another to laugh,
A right time to lament and another to cheer,
A right time to make love and another to abstain,
A right time to embrace and another to part,
A right time to search and another to count your losses,
A right time to hold on and another to let go,
A right time to rip out and another to mend,
A right time to shut up and another to speak up,
A right time to love and another to hate,
A right time to wage war and another to make peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 (The Message)

There's definitely a right time to decide to do the right thing. Don't procrastinate - value life, act responsibly... and act quickly!

Winning with

For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.

Proverbs 23:7 (NKJV)

In John C. Maxwell's Winning with People, the Lens Principle says that who you are determines what you see. This includes how you see yourself, how you see others, and how you view life and the world around you. And finally, who you are determines what you do in life. And who you are is determined by five things: genetics, self-image, experiences in life, attitude and choices about those experiences, and friends. Anyone of these can be a positive or negative influence in your life.

Awareness Test

God Foreknew...

God knew what he was doing from the very beginning. He decided from the outset to shape the lives of those who love him along the same lines as the life of his Son. The Son stands first in the line of humanity he restored. We see the original and intended shape of our lives there in him. After God made that decision of what his children should be like, he followed it up by calling people by name. After he called them by name, he set them on a solid basis with himself. And then, after getting them established, he stayed with them to the end, gloriously completing what he had begun.
Romans 8:29-30 (The Message)

phooey

I'm feeling restless ennui, is like a cheem, ang-moh way of saying sian.

Confess the positive, shake off the sian-ness, sputter less saliva when talking to girls...

Came across the above book today - wonderful collection of photos showing Viet street life with sprinkles of historical and cultural nuggets. Mmmm... if only one day I can produce such a book of my own.

Occurred to me today: It's when we're down or sick that we especially value love and concern when it's shown. Bro's fever the last 2 days made me remember how Mom used to towel us to cool the fever and I'd feel especially loved.

A Teary Weekend

No one has greater love... than to lay down... his own life for his friends.
John 15:13 (Amp)

Good Friday - Jesus died and buried.

Watching Him inexorably dragging the heavy cross to Calvary, Roman soldiers mocking and reviling, followers pleading and crying... It's more than a moving sight; even my 4th viewing didn't keep the tears from welling up.

Why this way, God? popped into my mind. Why such a tragic and wretched way to go?

I've never experienced the deep stab of betrayal or unbearable loss of loved ones. And how painful memories can keep one from letting go.

But I've suffered pains of my own and thankfully have given it all to Him.

Easter Sunday - Jesus resurrected and risen.

A new life, newfound self and renewed purpose.

Thank God for His grace and mercy!

Action

We are not retreating - we are advancing in another direction.

Douglas MacArthur (1880 to 1964)

how could you...

Express, in words, a love that is eternal?

No chord or lyric can fully convey one's emotions - fears, anxieties included...

A Lot

"A Lot" conjures up...

1) Abundance of financial blessings and peaceful joy that follows

2) Messiness or confusion - especially when repeated in succession

3) Equities trading for the retail investor

4) Person who talks too much

Emplacement

Lesson to learn: Place people in positions that allow them to operate in their strengths. Too often we do so out of need, rather than through wise discernment, leading to disappointment when people fail to perform.

Personal desire also comes into play, especially when you're personally challenged to make a decision - soon.

Colleague surmised 2 key questions:
1) What are your strengths?
2) What makes you happy?

*are you pondering what I'm pondering?*

Kicking & Pushing

Second biathlon of my life completed. Timing TBC. Swimming felt tedious and inefficient but running was awesome - despite wine at Corby's wedding the night before :)

Onwards here I go!

One click

One click, I lay and do falter
One love, I wish I knew
Don't judge me again,
Spare me as You see my life before
One word, too many I utter
One heart, broken anew
Use me I cry, Your mercies follow me
Though I forget...

Stay Positive

Time seems taken up by circumstances beyond control. It's frustrating to say the least. Especially when one buzzes from one place to another, only to realise you're at the wrong place! One almost wants to bawl and stamp one's feet...

For now it's... decisions... precision... apprehension... profusion... 'nuff said

On a positive note, got me-self a guitar. Now it's back to the perspiration mantra: All strings work for good to those who love his/her guitar and are called to callused finger stubs.

*TWANG*

Whump!

Heaving into a tuck-jump, the Whump comes sooner than you think.

Jump beyond the natural, into that uncomfortable zone of unhabitual & uncertainty.

Certainly character - not comfort - is what matters. More than that, it's about rising up in faith.

En route home, Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson ranged out over the airwaves - lyrics appropriately so.

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes til' I touch the sky
And I'll make a wish
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget all the ones that I love
I'll take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway

Leadership

It's said, a leader is one who's cool-headed, warm-hearted, and hot in the hands.

Certainly, if one is to stretch others, one must be stretching oneself.

Purpose seems to elude me for now...

tickle-me

Fren: yay! washing machine stopped! ...am so lazy to hang those clothes to dry

Ed: heard of this song, Ain’t No Sunshine When She’s Gone?

Ed: haha, poor clothes wringing away....

All Things

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.

Romans 8:28

the battle is the lord's

During the Civil War, the town of Moresfield, West Virginia was on the dividing line, and seesawed back and forth between Federal and Confederate troops. In one old house which still stands today, an elderly woman lived alone. One morning Yankee troops stomped up on her porch. Though at their mercy, she remained calm and invited them to be seated at her table.

When breakfast was set before them, she said, "It is a custom of long standing in this house to have prayers before meals. I hope you won’t mind." With that, she picked up the Bible, opened it at random and began to read from Psalm 27 (KJV):

"The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? ²When the wicked, even mine enemies and my foes, came upon me to eat up my flesh, they stumbled and fell. ³Though an host should encamp against me, my heart shall not fear: though war should rise against me, in this will I be confident... ¹³I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. ¹⁴Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD."

When she finished, she murmured quietly, "Let us pray." As she prayed, she heard stealthy sounds of shuffling shoes. When she ended with "Amen," she opened her eyes. The soldiers were gone! Her lack of fear had made them fearful of lingering any longer!

Learn to fly

By The Beatles

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Blackbird fly, Blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night.

Black bird singing in the dead of night
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
all your life
you were only waiting for this moment to be free

Blackbird fly, Blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise,oh
You were only waiting for this moment to arise, oh
You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Lev Borodulin (1923 - ?)

A great photographer who defined Russian photography. Particularly remembered for his sports photography, moved to Israel in 1972. Read more here.

Intrigued I am, of course. Perspective & ability seem to elude my attention thus far. Time to re-chart attitudes...

Dad turns 55

Happy chinese pineapple tarts!

Actually I've only had 1.5 tarts this year (.5 was for sampling). It's funny that mom started off lamenting the lack of time & energy, but eventually succumbed to self-made tradition, i.e. tarts & steamed cake. Reunion dinner last night was steamboat fare, homemade but replete with abalone & merlot.

The break from tradition was the lack of grandma's birthday celebration (mom refuses to say why). Cake and song zilch - even though Dad's birthday falls on the same day this year (Gregorian meets lunar). Hmmm...

Grams are certainly getting older - grandma's got weak and aching knees, while grandpa can't see properly in 1 eye.

2 days of CNY = Rest, Reflection, Recreation & Relationship.

Tuesday saw a major deliverable completed at work, only a couple more to go this month. Am wondering what's next... More of Him in me, that's certainly my prayer. Definitely bu bu gao shen, as my aunt wished me!

Huat! Tarts

Still courtesy of mommy dearest :)

Productivity

Found out today that a colleague has 6 children - possibly because he's Catholic, nonetheless am impressed by the peace and fatherly love he exudes.

Fruitfulness - the desire to produce - beckons. Yet distractions flit by. Focus shouldn't be and isn't so difficult!

No excuses given, certainly; for sure, singlemindedly pressing on is clearly the way.

Running

When the call to race sounds, one braces for the next leg, unfamiliar and probably uncomfortable.

Questions abound - who what why where when?

Yet within, anticipation bubbles.


Night jogger, courtesy of Dave Beckerman.

Running
No Doubt

Run
Running all the time
Running to the future
With you right by my side

Me
I'm the one you chose
Out of all the people
You wanted me the most
I'm so sorry that I'm falling
Help me up lets keep on running
Don't let me fall out of love

Chorus:
Running, running
As fast as we can
I really hope you make it
(Do you think we'll make it?)
We're running
Keep holding my hand
It's so we don't get separated

Be
Be the one I need
Be the one I trust most
Don't stop inspiring me
Sometimes it's hard to keep on running
We work so much to keep it going
Don't make me want to give up